Cured

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the Heaven’s Gate mass suicide thing. How do I know that? Because that is the Depressing Story of the Day that I had the joy of following this morning on San Diego morning television. Well, to be honest, I actually followed the story about how panda poop can be made into paper. Or something. And that’s not depressing so much as disgusting, so I guess that is a step in some direction for my television appearances.

Things are going okay here. I have been hit with a cold or flu of some sort, I’m not sure what sort. But it seems to be the sort that involves no energy and the desire to sleep 23 hours a day. (The other hour I enjoy eating something) I am feeling a little better now. This could have to do with several of my rock solid healing techniques.

1) The sleeping I mentioned earlier. Now, granted, I did only get a few hours sleep before I had to go inspire San Diego on morning TV, but the great thing about morning TV is that you can go, inspire and then be back in bed by like 8 am. I barely even had a chance to wake up and I was back in bed. And in that bed I remained for quite a many hours.

2) I woke up just long enough to eat some food and drink some Mountain Dew. I haven’t been feeling well so I’ve been drinking water instead of Mountain Dew. This was giving me a bitch of a caffeine headache and I think was contributing to my overall crappy feeling.

3) Then I woke up again and went and saw a movie. I felt like crap and probably should have stayed in bed, and probably infected the entire theater, but damnit if movies don’t make me feel better. These are the things I need in life: Movies and TV, at regular intervals. Without them I get weak and achy.

So then, I feel better and plan on maintaining this health with even more sleeping tomorrow. And perhaps a gallon of Nyquil before I go to bed.

I believe my book tour is about half over now. And I believe that I am very ready for it to be all the way over. Two months is too long to be away from your life, I’ve decided. And being away from your life doesn’t pay well, so it would be nice to return to my life and to the positive cash flow it offers. The little things in this life. These are what make me happy.

That and movie popcorn.

And Next Up...

Do you ever feel like you are on candid camera? For days at a time?

Today I went to another morning show appearance. It went well. And it once again went after a horrifying life story. Whyyyyyyy? You might recall last weekend when I had the good fortune to follow a man who had spent his youth as a child soldier in Africa. It was ever so much fun to make jokes about sports bras after stories of torture and death.

Then today.

I entered the green room and met the woman who would be going on before me. She runs a hotline for abused American women who are stuck in foreign countries and can’t get out. She started this hotline because she was an abused American woman stuck in a foreign country who couldn’t get out. She and her children endured years of abuse at the hands of her husband. She finally escaped, made it back here, started her hotline and is now up for huge award for Really Important People with Really Important Stories to Tell. Or something.

After the producer got done talking to this force of nature and inspiration enough for 8 Lifetime movies she turned to me, “I couldn’t find any Body Glide to bring as a prop, but one time when I ran out of Body Glide I just rubbed lip gloss on me and that worked too, so maybe we can use that!”

I literally was on right after the Harrowing Life Tale Woman. I was talking about sports bras and the Milkshake song.

Who books these shows?

And then my mom went to the website to try to find a clip of the most inspiring story ever told, and maybe a little bit of me going on about short shorts. Once she got to the site she found my book. It was listed with another book:
Mom told me I need to start working on a sympathy angle real quick.

Sac and Co

Here is another show.

I'm thinking that you might not need to watch all these, as I am just saying the same thing over and over again. And I'm even wearing the same shirt every time. I promise I am not wearing that shirt 24 hours a day. Sometimes I take it off for showers.

Good Day Sacramento